That Time I Almost Killed Myself

Accidentally.

Despite the drama of the title, it’s true, and I’ve been thinking about the differences between living alone vs. with a number of others. I have a small daughter, but other than that, it’s just me—no safety net. And when I was in graduate school, I nearly ended it all, out of ignorance. So this is a tale of warning, more than anything.

I have a lot of antique pewter. It’s become an antique metal and nothing is made from it anymore, really. It was my mother’s favorite metal, so I had a lot of it which was handed down to me by her, and then was subsequently stolen by associates of my ex-wife’s in 2020, including an ornate pitcher I usually use for water.

But I made lemonade in it once in grad school, and unbeknownst to me, the acid in lemons will leach lead out of pewter and infuse the liquid in it, making it lead poisoning waiting to happen. I’m not a metallurgist, and I discovered this after the fact when I couldn’t understand what just happened and researched the matter.

But I drank the lemonade and, of course, became very ill, while in business school full time which created an undesirable performance problem, to put it mildly. I could have died. I was dating my future ex-wife at the time and she decided not to help any and stand aside. So I was violently ill, had no idea why didn’t want to go to the ER, and was on my own. As I always am it seems as an only child in a very small family.

I was telling a friend the other day how different it is on your own. It’s another side of the fence where if you haven’t been there, it’s hard to understand. I’ve been on both. It’s like being right or left-handed and trying to explain how the world is a right-handed planet. Left-handers are at a demonstrable disadvantage which even ends their lives sooner.

But fair warning: do not put anything acidic in pewter for refreshing ingestion!